After a slow start the newer sites have added checks that actually help, though it settles down after a while. Worth saying that the decision to give it a full week before judging did quite a lot more for me than switching platform, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to read the last few pages of a thread before asking: it filters out the time wasters fast.
- What surprised me was that the photo review matters a fair bit more than the distance radius, and that alone put me off
- I stuck with the niche ones after a slow start, and the honest result was that the matching algorithm mattered noticeably most
- The daily match cap changed considerably having stuck with it a while, and that alone put me off
- Going by my own attempts, the moderation queue is the thing that decides it, though the ones people keep recommending rarely say so
- Move to a proper conversation quickly, because the alternative is a dead inbox, which explains a lot of the complaints here
My advice would be to read the last few pages of a thread before asking and then keep your expectations low for the first fortnight, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
Something worth flagging is that the niche ones have dropped the feature everyone used throughout most of last year.
For a change of pace, Datedesire is worth a look for the first-message problem, so it is worth a look.