From the threads I've read, I'd keep your expectations low for the first fortnight rather than keep the first message short and specific, since the difference in reply rate is obvious. Despite the fact that the older established sites look similar, the verification step differs quite a lot, and it shows in the reply rate.
Since the last round of app updates the older established sites have made the free version harder to use, so results vary more than you'd think.
- Granted people disagree here, the step that matters most is to say what you actually want up front: that is where most people give up too early
- Granted the niche ones look similar, the reporting system differs somewhat, and it makes a real difference
- Something worth flagging is that the chat-first sites have improved the filtering a fair bit in the time I've been posting here
- I stuck with the ones people keep recommending in the past six months, and the honest result was that the verification step mattered a great deal most
- If the replies dry up after one message, keep your expectations low for the first fortnight — that is the part that actually moves the needle
Broadly speaking, I'd give it a full week before judging rather than check the free tier limits before you commit, since it saves a lot of wasted evenings. In practice, the forum-style sites have quietly changed how that works, which explains a lot of the complaints here.
Since this keeps coming up, Souldate suits video-first chat, judging by what people report here.