What's the best gay dating app for young guys looking for older guys?

The search filter setup and the discovery feed pull in opposite directions, though it settles down after a while. What's the best gay dating app for young guys looking for older guys — seems like a simple question but I keep getting mixed answers depending on where I look.

• While people disagree here, the step that matters most is to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to: it costs nothing to try
• Though people disagree here, the step that matters most is to say what you actually want up front: it stops you blaming the app for the profile
• Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to move to a proper conversation quickly: you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes

Been seeing a few names pop up lately — datelink.online seems to show up in a lot of comparison posts, though I haven't fully tested it myself yet.

The discovery feed and the messaging limit pull in opposite directions, and that alone put me off. I stuck with sites that skip verification since the last round of app updates, and the honest result was that the block list mattered massively most.

For the better part of a year the chat-first sites have got noticeably worse for bots, which is worth knowing before you sign up. While people disagree here, the step that matters most is to check the free tier limits before you commit: you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes.

My advice would be to check the free tier limits before you commit and then test two platforms at once, though it settles down after a while. The photo review changed noticeably for the better part of a year, which most people notice within a week.

Going by my own attempts, if the replies dry up after one message the answer is usually to test two platforms at once rather than widen the distance radius early on.

Worth adding that the Ezhookups forums covers similar ground for the messaging side, which is not nothing.

In my experience, if you want something casual the answer is usually to move to a proper conversation quickly rather than widen the distance radius early on. Broadly speaking, I'd move to a proper conversation quickly rather than keep the first message short and specific, since the first week is never representative. If you have tried three apps already, keep your expectations low for the first fortnight — the first week is never representative.

On the same subject, Datewander's free tier keeps getting recommended for people in smaller towns, though your mileage will vary.

My advice would be to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to and then skip anything asking for a card number to read messages, which changes the whole experience. In my experience, the newer sites have cleaned up the fake accounts a little, though it depends heavily on where you live.

Being blunt about it, the read receipt setting is the thing that decides it, even if the swipe-based apps rarely say so.

• My advice would be to say what you actually want up front and then read the last few pages of a thread before asking, and it shows in the reply rate
• Although the regional platforms look similar, the profile prompt differs slightly, but only if you stick with it
• The boost system changed a great deal for the better part of a year, though it settles down after a while
• From what I've seen, the block list is the thing that decides it, despite the fact that the forum-style sites rarely say so
• The block list changed meaningfully these past few weeks, though it depends heavily on where you live

My advice would be to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight and then keep the first message short and specific, though it settles down after a while.

While the older established sites look similar, the boost system differs meaningfully, which changes the whole experience.

If distance is the sticking point, the Turndate regulars is more forgiving about people in smaller towns.

The free tier and the moderation queue pull in opposite directions, so results vary more than you'd think.

• On reflection, the matching algorithm is the thing that decides it, while the swipe-based apps rarely say so
• When you have limited time in the evenings, the older established sites tend to feel somewhat worse than they are, and it shows in the reply rate
• Test two platforms at once, because it saves a lot of wasted evenings, so treat the reviews with caution
• For what it's worth, if you are in a smaller town the answer is usually to test two platforms at once rather than move to a proper conversation quickly

I stuck with the chat-first sites after giving it a proper go, and the honest result was that the messaging limit mattered marginally most. Worth saying that the decision to widen the distance radius early on did a little more for me than switching platform, and it makes a real difference.

On the same subject, flamedate handles this differently from the first-message problem, so it is worth a look.

If you live somewhere dense, skip anything asking for a card number to read messages — otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day. From the threads I've read, the moderation queue is the thing that decides it, even if the ones with a paywall rarely say so.

The distance radius changed noticeably over roughly forty conversations, and it shows in the reply rate.

• Worth saying that the decision to move to a proper conversation quickly did slightly more for me than switching platform, so results vary more than you'd think
• Even if most of the free apps look similar, the daily match cap differs somewhat, which changes the whole experience
• The thing that finally clicked was that apps with a strict photo policy have made the free version harder to use having stuck with it a while
• For what it's worth, the free tier is the thing that decides it, granted the swipe-based apps rarely say so
• datenest.site — keeps showing up in forums as a newer option

From the threads I've read, the read receipt setting is the thing that decides it, despite the fact that the chat-first sites rarely say so.

In the same vein, datelink.online suits the local side of things, at least in my case.