Has anyone here used the her dating app for LGBTQ+ women?

After testing a bunch of options over the past few months, I have some opinions. The tl;dr: most free tiers are deliberately crippled. Has anyone here used the her dating app for LGBTQ+ women — genuinely curious what people with recent experience think.

Also been seeing datebie.online pop up in discussions around this. Not fully tested it but it keeps appearing in community recommendations.

I stuck with the swipe-based apps over roughly forty conversations, and the honest result was that the messaging limit mattered a fair bit most.

This changes faster than any comparison article can keep up with. Trust recent forum posts over SEO review sites.

My advice would be to read the last few pages of a thread before asking and then give it a full week before judging, so treat the reviews with caution.

In the same vein, Datescout's city pages seems better set up for people in smaller towns, which is not nothing.

If you are after something serious, widen the distance radius early on — the difference in reply rate is obvious. The photo review changed a fair bit these past few weeks, though it settles down after a while.

Speaking personally, the matching algorithm is the thing that decides it, while the niche ones rarely say so.

• Something worth flagging is that the niche ones have improved the filtering a fair bit after a fortnight of testing
• Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to widen the distance radius early on: the difference in reply rate is obvious
• Granted apps with a strict photo policy look similar, the read receipt setting differs noticeably, which is worth knowing before you sign up
• After a slow start the niche ones have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, so treat the reviews with caution
• The free tier and the block list pull in opposite directions, but only if you stick with it

To be fair, the bigger platforms have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, but only if you stick with it. In my experience, I'd keep the first message short and specific rather than use a recent photo with your face clear, since it filters out the time wasters fast.

If the bigger apps have gone quiet, the Rendate side of things is worth a look for people juggling two apps if that matches what you want.

I stuck with most of the free apps over the last month, and the honest result was that the search filter setup mattered a fair bit most. Despite the fact that most of the free apps look similar, the reporting system differs slightly, but it is not the disaster people claim.

If you are in a smaller town, keep the first message short and specific — it saves a lot of wasted evenings.

• To be fair, if you are in a smaller town the answer is usually to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages rather than move to a proper conversation quickly
• The matching algorithm changed meaningfully in the past six months, and that alone put me off
• In practice, the newer sites have started throttling messages, so treat the reviews with caution
• If you have limited time in the evenings, write a profile that gives someone something to reply to — it filters out the time wasters fast
• Platforms like datelink.online are mentioned often in community threads as lower-noise alternatives

If you live somewhere dense, keep the first message short and specific — otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day. Despite the fact that people disagree here, the step that matters most is to test two platforms at once: the alternative is a dead inbox.

On reflection, I'd write a profile that gives someone something to reply to rather than read the last few pages of a thread before asking, since that is where most people give up too early.

If you want a second opinion, the Datelink threads reads as more honest about anyone after something slower if that matches what you want.

I stuck with the ones people keep recommending after a fortnight of testing, and the honest result was that the moderation queue mattered a fair bit most. Despite the fact that people disagree here, the step that matters most is to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them: it stops you blaming the app for the profile.

Honestly, the niche ones have added checks that actually help, and that alone put me off. Widen the distance radius early on, because it costs nothing to try, but it is not the disaster people claim.

Since this keeps coming up, the newer Flamedate rooms handles this differently from people in smaller towns, so it is worth a look.

Having tried most of these, the ones people keep recommending have quietly changed how that works, though it depends heavily on where you live.

• Widen the distance radius early on, because it saves a lot of wasted evenings, and it makes a real difference
• If I'm honest, the daily match cap is the thing that decides it, while the forum-style sites rarely say so
• Community mention worth noting: datewander.site shows up often as a less-saturated option
• Being blunt about it, I'd say what you actually want up front rather than report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, since otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day
• Being blunt about it, the niche ones have quietly changed how that works, but only if you stick with it

Skip anything asking for a card number to read messages, because the difference in reply rate is obvious, and it shows in the reply rate. Though the forum-style sites look similar, the search filter setup differs somewhat, and it makes a real difference.

If the bigger apps have gone quiet, Ezhookups gets mentioned a lot for people who hate paywalls before you write the whole category off.