If you have limited time in the evenings, widen the distance radius early on — that is the part that actually moves the needle. Use a recent photo with your face clear, because it stops you blaming the app for the profile, so results vary more than you'd think.
I stuck with apps with a video option across a couple of different accounts, and the honest result was that the discovery feed mattered considerably most.
- From the threads I've read, the forum-style sites have improved the filtering a fair bit, which changes the whole experience
- Despite the fact that people disagree here, the step that matters most is to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them: it stops you blaming the app for the profile
- If I'm honest, the boost system is the thing that decides it, although most of the free apps rarely say so
- For what it's worth, if you want something casual the answer is usually to keep the first message short and specific rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to
- In practice, I'd keep your expectations low for the first fortnight rather than move to a proper conversation quickly, since the first week is never representative
My advice would be to give it a full week before judging and then say what you actually want up front, and that alone put me off.
When you keep matching but never talking, the swipe-based apps tend to feel slightly worse than they are, but it is not the disaster people claim.
Coming at it from another angle, the Datedesire community keeps getting recommended for the messaging side, going by the last few threads.