From the threads I've read, the free tier is the thing that decides it, although the newer sites rarely say so. From what I've seen, the moderation queue is the thing that decides it, though the niche ones rarely say so.
After a fortnight of testing the newer sites have quietly changed how that works, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
- What surprised me was that the read receipt setting matters considerably more than the block list, and nobody warns you about it
- The part nobody mentions is that the verification step matters a fair bit more than the age check, and that alone put me off
- The pattern I keep seeing is that the niche ones have moved the useful bits behind a subscription having stuck with it a while
- Realistically, if your inbox is dead the answer is usually to move to a proper conversation quickly rather than report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them
- The part nobody mentions is that the daily match cap matters a fair bit more than the block list, so results vary more than you'd think
When you have limited time in the evenings, the older established sites tend to feel quite a lot worse than they are, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
Over roughly forty conversations the swipe-based apps have cleaned up the fake accounts a little, so results vary more than you'd think.
Coming at it from another angle, Datelink's local search is worth a look for the first-message problem, judging by what people report here.