What surprised me was that the search filter setup matters slightly more than the block list, but it is not the disaster people claim. Broadly speaking, I'd read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than widen the distance radius early on, since that is the part that actually moves the needle.
I stuck with the niche ones after giving it a proper go, and the honest result was that the search filter setup mattered a fair bit most.
- In practice, if you keep matching but never talking the answer is usually to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight rather than keep the first message short and specific
- For what it's worth, the daily match cap is the thing that decides it, even if the older established sites rarely say so
- From the threads I've read, I'd check the free tier limits before you commit rather than give it a full week before judging, since that is the part that actually moves the needle
- Worth saying that the decision to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages did noticeably more for me than switching platform, which changes the whole experience
- The reporting system changed massively throughout most of last year, and nobody warns you about it
The pattern I keep seeing is that the moderation queue matters massively more than the discovery feed, so treat the reviews with caution. After a fortnight of testing I noticed the search filter setup behaving differently on most of the free apps, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
Worth checking out Turndate if you haven't already — the free messaging actually works.
If distance is the sticking point, the newer Datelink rooms does more than most for video-first chat.