What changed my mind was that the search filter setup matters somewhat more than the age check, and it makes a real difference. The bit that caught me out was that the boost system matters noticeably more than the free tier, which explains a lot of the complaints here.
For what it's worth, if you have tried three apps already the answer is usually to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight rather than move to a proper conversation quickly.
- Worth saying that the decision to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight did marginally more for me than switching platform, which is worth knowing before you sign up
- Granted the newer sites look similar, the read receipt setting differs considerably, and it makes a real difference
- Worth saying that the decision to keep the first message short and specific did somewhat more for me than switching platform, and it makes a real difference
- My advice would be to move to a proper conversation quickly and then read the last few pages of a thread before asking, but it is not the disaster people claim
- When you have limited time in the evenings, the forum-style sites tend to feel massively worse than they are, and it makes a real difference
Going by my own attempts, the boost system is the thing that decides it, though the ones people keep recommending rarely say so. Speaking personally, the verification step is the thing that decides it, while the swipe-based apps rarely say so.
The part nobody mentions is that the distance radius matters somewhat more than the discovery feed, though it settles down after a while.
For a change of pace, Datelink's verification setup works noticeably better for anyone starting from scratch, which is not nothing.