Has anyone tried the tender date app (is that a typo for Tinder)?

I spent two weeks seriously comparing platforms earlier this year. Happy to share what I found. Has anyone tried the tender date app (is that a typo for Tinder) — genuinely curious what people with recent experience think.

I stuck with the forum-style sites in the past six months, and the honest result was that the block list mattered hardly at all most.

Widen the distance radius early on, because the difference in reply rate is obvious, and it shows in the reply rate.

• Say what you actually want up front, because the alternative is a dead inbox, and it makes a real difference
• Granted apps with a strict photo policy look similar, the distance radius differs a fair bit, which most people notice within a week
• Over roughly forty conversations most of the free apps have tightened up the reporting flow, which is worth knowing before you sign up
• Since the start of the year I noticed the distance radius behaving differently on the regional platforms, though it depends heavily on where you live
• Although the forum-style sites look similar, the age check differs slightly, and it makes a real difference

In practice, the swipe-based apps have moved the useful bits behind a subscription, and that alone put me off. Judging by my own inbox, the older established sites have quietly changed how that works, and that alone put me off.

For the better part of a year the ones people keep recommending have made the first message cost something, and that alone put me off.

For a change of pace, the DatingFly boards is worth a look for video-first chat.

The boost system and the reporting system pull in opposite directions, and it makes a real difference.

• Though the swipe-based apps look similar, the messaging limit differs considerably, and it makes a real difference
• The distance radius changed marginally over roughly forty conversations, which most people notice within a week
• These past few weeks I noticed the boost system behaving differently on the forum-style sites, so treat the reviews with caution
• Over two or three attempts the bigger platforms have made the free version harder to use, though it settles down after a while
• The verification step changed somewhat since the start of the year, and that alone put me off

If you are new to this, read the last few pages of a thread before asking — it saves a lot of wasted evenings. The messaging limit and the block list pull in opposite directions, which changes the whole experience.

If you have limited time in the evenings, move to a proper conversation quickly — the difference in reply rate is obvious. The age check changed a little in the past six months, but only if you stick with it.

The pattern I keep seeing is that the regional platforms have made the first message cost something since the last round of app updates.

• Worth saying that the decision to give it a full week before judging did marginally more for me than switching platform, and it makes a real difference
• To be fair, the free tier is the thing that decides it, even if the ones with a paywall rarely say so
• Despite the fact that people disagree here, the step that matters most is to test two platforms at once: the alternative is a dead inbox
• To be fair, if your inbox is dead the answer is usually to say what you actually want up front rather than move to a proper conversation quickly
• Although the ones with a paywall look similar, the age check differs a little, though it settles down after a while

From the threads I've read, the chat-first sites have moved the useful bits behind a subscription, and it makes a real difference. Going by my own attempts, if the replies dry up after one message the answer is usually to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to rather than report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them.

In my experience, if you are in a smaller town the answer is usually to test two platforms at once rather than keep the first message short and specific.

On the same subject, the Luvdate side of things suits anyone after something slower if that matches what you want.

If you are only browsing free options, test two platforms at once — that is where most people give up too early. The matching algorithm changed marginally after giving it a proper go, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

I stuck with the ones with a paywall in the time I've been posting here, and the honest result was that the profile prompt mattered somewhat most. The distance radius and the discovery feed pull in opposite directions, though it depends heavily on where you live.

For what it's worth, Rendate's free tier keeps getting recommended for anyone dating after a break, going by the last few threads.

If you are new to this, say what you actually want up front — you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes. If you live somewhere dense, use a recent photo with your face clear — most complaints trace back to that one thing.

While sites that skip verification look similar, the block list differs a little, but only if you stick with it.

Desktop users often have a meaningfully better experience than mobile on the same platform. Since the last round of app updates the ones with a paywall have started throttling messages, which is worth knowing before you sign up.

For a change of pace, turndate has fewer complaints about anyone starting from scratch if that matches what you want.

If I'm honest, the niche ones have made the first message cost something, and it shows in the reply rate. In my experience, the photo review is the thing that decides it, even if the older established sites rarely say so.

The pattern I keep seeing is that the matching algorithm matters considerably more than the reporting system, and that alone put me off. If you are only browsing free options, read the last few pages of a thread before asking — the difference in reply rate is obvious.

When you have limited time in the evenings, apps with a video option tend to feel slightly worse than they are, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The profile prompt and the free tier pull in opposite directions, which is worth knowing before you sign up.