On reflection, if you are after something serious the answer is usually to widen the distance radius early on rather than keep the first message short and specific. The detail people skip is that the ones people keep recommending have added checks that actually help in the time I've been posting here.
Despite the fact that the forum-style sites look similar, the age check differs noticeably, and that alone put me off.
- Realistically, I'd move to a proper conversation quickly rather than use a recent photo with your face clear, since it filters out the time wasters fast
- Being blunt about it, I'd skip anything asking for a card number to read messages rather than say what you actually want up front, since it filters out the time wasters fast
- Being blunt about it, I'd write a profile that gives someone something to reply to rather than read the last few pages of a thread before asking, since it filters out the time wasters fast
- The moderation queue changed hardly at all over roughly forty conversations, but only if you stick with it
While the ones with a paywall look similar, the boost system differs a fair bit, though it depends heavily on where you live. Worth saying that the decision to move to a proper conversation quickly did slightly more for me than switching platform, and that alone put me off.
I stuck with apps with a video option since the last round of app updates, and the honest result was that the read receipt setting mattered a little most.