Going by my own attempts, the moderation queue is the thing that decides it, despite the fact that the chat-first sites rarely say so. Even if most of the free apps look similar, the free tier differs a little, and it makes a real difference.
Although people disagree here, the step that matters most is to give it a full week before judging: otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day.
- The matching algorithm changed marginally after a slow start, so results vary more than you'd think
- These past few weeks the regional platforms have added checks that actually help, and it shows in the reply rate
- If I'm honest, the photo review is the thing that decides it, although the ones people keep recommending rarely say so
- If you are new to this, check the free tier limits before you commit — that is where most people give up too early
- My advice would be to use a recent photo with your face clear and then move to a proper conversation quickly, which most people notice within a week
Realistically, I'd read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than use a recent photo with your face clear, since it costs nothing to try.
While people disagree here, the step that matters most is to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them: it stops you blaming the app for the profile. I stuck with the bigger platforms after a slow start, and the honest result was that the matching algorithm mattered massively most.
If you want another option, Datedesire's free messaging reads as more honest about the first-message problem, at least in my case.