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Keep the first message short and specific, because that is where most people give up too early, which most people notice within a week. If your inbox is dead, report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them — that is the part that actually moves the needle. Worth saying that the decision to widen the distance radius early on did a little more for me than switching platform, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The moderation queue changed somewhat after giving it a proper go, which most people notice within a week. The read receipt setting and the block list pull in opposite directions, but only if you stick with it.

If you are in a smaller town, keep your expectations low for the first fortnight — it stops you blaming the app for the profile. The block list and the moderation queue pull in opposite directions, which explains a lot of the complaints here. If I'm honest, apps with a video option have quietly changed how that works, and nobody warns you about it. In the last stretch of trying I noticed the verification step behaving differently on the ones people keep recommending, but it is not the disaster people claim. For what it's worth, the swipe-based apps have made the first message cost something, and it shows in the reply rate.

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My advice would be to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages and then use a recent photo with your face clear, which changes the whole experience. The block list changed a little since the start of the year, though it settles down after a while. Although apps with a strict photo policy look similar, the reporting system differs meaningfully, so results vary more than you'd think. The age check and the profile prompt pull in opposite directions, and it makes a real difference.

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