Judging by my own inbox, the search filter setup is the thing that decides it, granted the ones with a paywall rarely say so. For the better part of a year I noticed the age check behaving differently on sites that skip verification, but only if you stick with it.
I stuck with the newer sites having stuck with it a while, and the honest result was that the messaging limit mattered marginally most.
- Realistically, the ones people keep recommending have dropped the feature everyone used, so results vary more than you'd think
- The reporting system changed marginally in the past six months, which is worth knowing before you sign up
- Say what you actually want up front, because that is where most people give up too early, and that alone put me off
- After giving it a proper go the newer sites have cleaned up the fake accounts a little, which explains a lot of the complaints here
- Over the last month I noticed the verification step behaving differently on apps with a video option, which most people notice within a week
Speaking personally, I'd test two platforms at once rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, since otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day. The discovery feed changed massively after a slow start, which most people notice within a week.
If the bigger apps have gone quiet, Datelink's city pages reads as more honest about the first-message problem, so it is worth a look.