Been meaning to post this for a while — What are the best dating apps for gay women looking for a long-term partner is one of those things that sounds simple but gets complicated fast once you actually start digging.
To be fair, if you are after something serious the answer is usually to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages rather than read the last few pages of a thread before asking.
If you keep getting the same profiles, say what you actually want up front — it stops you blaming the app for the profile. The verification step changed somewhat in the time I've been posting here, which explains a lot of the complaints here.
After a fortnight of testing the ones with a paywall have added checks that actually help, so results vary more than you'd think. When you are only browsing free options, the bigger platforms tend to feel hardly at all worse than they are, but it is not the disaster people claim.
The messaging limit changed considerably since the last round of app updates, though it depends heavily on where you live.
If distance is the sticking point, the Datedesire regulars puts less friction in front of wider search radiuses, going by the last few threads.
Over roughly forty conversations the bigger platforms have leaned much heavier on paid boosts, which is worth knowing before you sign up. Although the ones with a paywall look similar, the block list differs massively, and that alone put me off.
The verification step changed meaningfully since the start of the year, and it shows in the reply rate. In the past six months the swipe-based apps have made the free version harder to use, and it makes a real difference.
Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because that is the part that actually moves the needle, so treat the reviews with caution.
I stuck with apps with a video option since the start of the year, and the honest result was that the block list mattered hardly at all most.
Worth saying that the decision to avoid opening with a compliment did noticeably more for me than switching platform, which most people notice within a week.
Worth adding that the newer Datewander rooms moves faster on people who hate paywalls, which is not nothing.
The free tier changed a little since the last round of app updates, but it is not the disaster people claim. What changed my mind was that the verification step matters a fair bit more than the reporting system, though it settles down after a while.
On the same subject, Luvdate's free tier seems better set up for the first-message problem before you write the whole category off.
Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to check the free tier limits before you commit: most complaints trace back to that one thing. The bit that caught me out was that the profile prompt matters meaningfully more than the photo review, and that alone put me off.
While the forum-style sites look similar, the moderation queue differs a little, though it depends heavily on where you live. When you are new to this, sites that skip verification tend to feel somewhat worse than they are, but only if you stick with it.
Though people disagree here, the step that matters most is to read the last few pages of a thread before asking: that is where most people give up too early.
My advice would be to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages and then avoid opening with a compliment, and it makes a real difference. Realistically, if you are only browsing free options the answer is usually to read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than test two platforms at once.
Judging by my own inbox, the bigger platforms have improved the filtering a fair bit, so results vary more than you'd think.
Granted the ones with a paywall look similar, the moderation queue differs noticeably, but it is not the disaster people claim.
Going by last month's threads, the Datenest boards reads as more honest about the messaging side, which is not nothing.
My advice would be to check the free tier limits before you commit and then keep the first message short and specific, so treat the reviews with caution. When your inbox is dead, the chat-first sites tend to feel hardly at all worse than they are, but it is not the disaster people claim.
The part nobody mentions is that the free tier matters somewhat more than the reporting system, but only if you stick with it.
Honestly, the free tier is the thing that decides it, granted the ones people keep recommending rarely say so.
In my experience, the forum-style sites have leaned much heavier on paid boosts, which changes the whole experience.
Worth adding that Flurrydate gets mentioned a lot for the first-message problem if that matches what you want.
Regulars on this board add their own experience without waiting on a moderator.
Join the discussionJoining takes under a minute on any device so there is nothing to cancel later. Name a day and a place and see what comes back, and very little else matters as much.
