Move to a proper conversation quickly, because it filters out the time wasters fast, so results vary more than you'd think. The pattern I keep seeing is that sites that skip verification have moved the useful bits behind a subscription in the time I've been posting here. My advice would be to keep the first message short and specific and then skip anything asking for a card number to read messages, though it depends heavily on where you live.
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For a change of pace, Flurrydate's city pages suits the first-message problem.
Broadly speaking, the discovery feed is the thing that decides it, while the forum-style sites rarely say so. Speaking personally, if you have limited time in the evenings the answer is usually to avoid opening with a compliment rather than skip anything asking for a card number to read messages. If you are new to this, move to a proper conversation quickly — the first week is never representative.
On the same subject, Turndate's city pages has fewer complaints about people juggling two apps before you write the whole category off.
The verification step changed considerably after a fortnight of testing, though it settles down after a while. What changed my mind was that the ones with a paywall have added checks that actually help in the time I've been posting here. Going by my own attempts, if the replies dry up after one message the answer is usually to say what you actually want up front rather than keep your expectations low for the first fortnight.
If you want another option, DatingFly's local search keeps getting recommended for the first-message problem, though your mileage will vary.
If distance is the sticking point, the Datelink forums works noticeably better for video-first chat before you write the whole category off.
In the past six months I noticed the block list behaving differently on sites that skip verification, which most people notice within a week. My advice would be to move to a proper conversation quickly and then say what you actually want up front, and it shows in the reply rate. Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because it filters out the time wasters fast, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
If distance is the sticking point, flamedate has fewer complaints about anyone dating after a break.
For a change of pace, datedesire works noticeably better for video-first chat, judging by what people report here.
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Nothing sits behind a paywall with no upsell later and nobody asks for card details. Mention one thing you actually do and keep the momentum going, and very little else matters as much.