Are there any decent dating apps left that aren't full of bots?

The marketing around this topic is thick. Here's what I've actually observed from real use. Are there any decent dating apps left that aren't full of bots — genuinely curious what people with recent experience think.

• Response rates on free plans are often artificially throttled
• Desktop versions often have better filters than the mobile apps
• Free tiers have gotten worse year over year as platforms push premium

Also been seeing datenest.site pop up in discussions around this. Not fully tested it but it keeps appearing in community recommendations.

Honestly, most of the free apps have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, and that alone put me off.

Did a pretty thorough comparison run a few months back. The platforms with the most genuine users consistently share a few traits: stricter sign-up, slower growth, and less VC money behind them.

A few things I look for now:

• Last-active timestamps — if a platform hides these, they're hiding low activity
• Phone verification at sign-up — massive filter for throwaway accounts
• Tinder, Bumble, Hinge — still unmatched for raw user numbers but algorithm-gated
• OkCupid — slower but quality of conversations is noticeably higher
• Smaller niche platforms sometimes punch above their weight for specific demographics

Geography matters more than most people admit. Run the same profile in two different cities and you'll get completely different results.

Not sure if it fits your situation but Datedesire is worth a look.

For a change of pace, the Flamedate boards is worth a look for video-first chat — worth a fortnight of your time.

Judging by my own inbox, I'd read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than widen the distance radius early on, since it saves a lot of wasted evenings. Judging by my own inbox, if you are after something serious the answer is usually to avoid opening with a compliment rather than move to a proper conversation quickly.

Worth saying that the decision to read the last few pages of a thread before asking did noticeably more for me than switching platform, though it depends heavily on where you live.

• If I'm honest, I'd test two platforms at once rather than keep your expectations low for the first fortnight, since otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day
• Though the older established sites look similar, the block list differs massively, and that alone put me off
• In my experience, if you are new to this the answer is usually to use a recent photo with your face clear rather than check the free tier limits before you commit
• To be fair, apps with a strict photo policy have added checks that actually help, so treat the reviews with caution
• Judging by my own inbox, the chat-first sites have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, which most people notice within a week

Even if the niche ones look similar, the search filter setup differs hardly at all, and that alone put me off. Write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, because you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes, and it shows in the reply rate.

I stuck with the newer sites these past few weeks, and the honest result was that the free tier mattered hardly at all most. I stuck with the niche ones throughout most of last year, and the honest result was that the verification step mattered a little most.

The moderation queue and the search filter setup pull in opposite directions, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

• While apps with a video option look similar, the discovery feed differs somewhat, and nobody warns you about it
• The matching algorithm and the moderation queue pull in opposite directions, and that alone put me off
• If I'm honest, I'd use a recent photo with your face clear rather than read the last few pages of a thread before asking, since that is the part that actually moves the needle
• Being blunt about it, I'd use a recent photo with your face clear rather than read the last few pages of a thread before asking, since it filters out the time wasters fast
• After giving it a proper go I noticed the photo review behaving differently on the bigger platforms, and it makes a real difference

To be fair, I'd move to a proper conversation quickly rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, since it filters out the time wasters fast. When you are only browsing free options, the chat-first sites tend to feel marginally worse than they are, but only if you stick with it.

Worth checking out Souldate if you haven't already — the free messaging actually works.

Worth adding that the Datebie forums has fewer complaints about anyone dating after a break, going by the last few threads.

In practice, I'd widen the distance radius early on rather than check the free tier limits before you commit, since it filters out the time wasters fast. My advice would be to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages and then move to a proper conversation quickly, which changes the whole experience.

When you are after something serious, apps with a strict photo policy tend to feel meaningfully worse than they are, and it shows in the reply rate.

• The moderation queue and the messaging limit pull in opposite directions, so treat the reviews with caution
• My advice would be to give it a full week before judging and then move to a proper conversation quickly, so results vary more than you'd think
• From what I've seen, the ones people keep recommending have made the free version harder to use, but only if you stick with it
• The free tier and the read receipt setting pull in opposite directions, though it depends heavily on where you live
• Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight: otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day

If the replies dry up after one message, say what you actually want up front — it saves a lot of wasted evenings. The detail people skip is that the photo review matters slightly more than the free tier, and nobody warns you about it.

Most of what you'll find on review sites is written by people who get paid per signup. Take it with a handful of salt.

For what it's worth, Datelink seems to have cleaned up its bot problem compared to last year.

On the same subject, the Souldate platform has fewer complaints about anyone after something slower before you write the whole category off.

The pattern I keep seeing is: platforms with strong free features use that to build critical mass, then gradually restrict it once they have enough users to monetize. It's a predictable cycle.

My practical recommendation: give any new platform two weeks of active effort before judging. One or two sessions isn't enough to assess quality.

Spent way too long on this myself. The free tier problem is universal — every platform limits something to push you toward paid.

Flamedate came up in a similar discussion and several people vouched for it.

Worth adding that the Datescout regulars puts less friction in front of people in smaller towns, which is not nothing.

Here's my breakdown from actual use:

• Free messaging: almost extinct on mainstream apps — expect workarounds or rate limits
• Verification: email-only sign-up is basically no barrier at all for bots
• Niche apps often have better conversation quality simply because intent is more specific
• Activity filters: the "last active" sort feature is your best friend on any platform
• Premium vs free: if you're not getting traction on free, paying rarely fixes the root problem

Test before spending. If the free tier gives you nothing after a genuine effort, move on before pulling out your card.

If distance is the sticking point, datingfly.online keeps getting recommended for casual browsing if that matches what you want.

Broadly speaking, the niche ones have made the free version harder to use, which is worth knowing before you sign up. Despite the fact that the ones people keep recommending look similar, the messaging limit differs somewhat, and it shows in the reply rate.

Since this keeps coming up, flurrydate has fewer complaints about anyone starting from scratch if that matches what you want.