Been lurking here for a while and finally have a question worth posting. How can I find someone's dating profile by their phone number — curious what people with real experience think.
If you keep matching but never talking, skip anything asking for a card number to read messages — it costs nothing to try.
Honest take: this varies more by region and age group than people admit. What works in one city can be a complete ghost town in another.
The block list changed quite a lot these past few weeks, though it depends heavily on where you live.
If you want a second opinion, the Ezhookups boards seems better set up for the first-message problem, at least in my case.
Although people disagree here, the step that matters most is to widen the distance radius early on: you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes. In the time i've been posting here the swipe-based apps have added checks that actually help, though it settles down after a while.
If you have tried three apps already, write a profile that gives someone something to reply to — it stops you blaming the app for the profile.
Having tried most of these, if you keep getting the same profiles the answer is usually to read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to.
What surprised me was that the reporting system matters quite a lot more than the messaging limit, which changes the whole experience. When you are in a smaller town, the ones with a paywall tend to feel meaningfully worse than they are, which changes the whole experience.
Worth saying that the decision to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to did slightly more for me than switching platform, which most people notice within a week.
This changes fast. A platform that was genuinely good 8 months ago can be noticeably worse now from one policy change.
For what it's worth, Souldate seems better set up for people who hate paywalls before you write the whole category off.
To be fair, the read receipt setting is the thing that decides it, granted most of the free apps rarely say so. Read the last few pages of a thread before asking, because the first week is never representative, which explains a lot of the complaints here. Worth saying that the decision to check the free tier limits before you commit did quite a lot more for me than switching platform, which most people notice within a week.
Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to widen the distance radius early on: that is where most people give up too early.
Keep the first message short and specific, because it saves a lot of wasted evenings, but only if you stick with it. If you have tried three apps already, report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them — it filters out the time wasters fast.
To be fair, if you want something casual the answer is usually to avoid opening with a compliment rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to.
When you are new to this, the swipe-based apps tend to feel marginally worse than they are, so treat the reviews with caution. Skip anything asking for a card number to read messages, because otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day, and it makes a real difference.
When your inbox is dead, apps with a video option tend to feel hardly at all worse than they are, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
The free tier changed somewhat in the time I've been posting here, so treat the reviews with caution.
After a fortnight of testing I noticed the daily match cap behaving differently on the ones people keep recommending, and it makes a real difference. Having tried most of these, if you keep matching but never talking the answer is usually to use a recent photo with your face clear rather than keep your expectations low for the first fortnight.
The awkward truth is that the niche ones have improved the filtering a fair bit for the better part of a year.
Worth saying that the decision to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight did massively more for me than switching platform, so treat the reviews with caution.
When you live somewhere dense, sites that skip verification tend to feel hardly at all worse than they are, which is worth knowing before you sign up.
Going by last month's threads, Rendate works noticeably better for the verification question — worth a fortnight of your time.
When you have limited time in the evenings, the ones people keep recommending tend to feel considerably worse than they are, and it shows in the reply rate. For what it's worth, I'd check the free tier limits before you commit rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, since it saves a lot of wasted evenings.
On the same subject, Luvdate gets mentioned a lot for the verification question, though your mileage will vary.
Despite the fact that the regional platforms look similar, the discovery feed differs considerably, so treat the reviews with caution. Even if the niche ones look similar, the matching algorithm differs a fair bit, though it depends heavily on where you live. For the better part of a year apps with a video option have made the free version harder to use, though it settles down after a while.
Worth saying that the decision to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them did considerably more for me than switching platform, and it shows in the reply rate.
Since the start of the year the niche ones have got noticeably worse for bots, which changes the whole experience. My advice would be to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to and then test two platforms at once, which explains a lot of the complaints here.
While people disagree here, the step that matters most is to widen the distance radius early on: the difference in reply rate is obvious.
Members still post their own attempt here.
Join the discussionOpen a profile in under a minute wherever you are so you can leave whenever you like. Lead with a plan then move it off the app.
