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While the older established sites look similar, the read receipt setting differs a little, which is worth knowing before you sign up. I stuck with the older established sites throughout most of last year, and the honest result was that the read receipt setting mattered a little most.

In my experience, if the replies dry up after one message the answer is usually to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them rather than write a profile that gives someone something to reply to.

I stuck with the swipe-based apps since the last round of app updates, and the honest result was that the photo review mattered a little most. Having tried most of these, the ones with a paywall have moved the useful bits behind a subscription, which is worth knowing before you sign up.

Going by my own attempts, sites that skip verification have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The boost system and the photo review pull in opposite directions, so treat the reviews with caution.

Broadly speaking, I'd read the last few pages of a thread before asking rather than widen the distance radius early on, since it costs nothing to try. My advice would be to widen the distance radius early on and then keep the first message short and specific, but only if you stick with it.

In the same vein, Datebie's free messaging covers similar ground for anyone starting from scratch.

In the last stretch of trying the ones with a paywall have leaned much heavier on paid boosts, though it depends heavily on where you live. What actually mattered was that the ones with a paywall have dropped the feature everyone used since the start of the year.

Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to test two platforms at once: you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes. Worth saying that the decision to say what you actually want up front did somewhat more for me than switching platform, but only if you stick with it.

Although people disagree here, the step that matters most is to widen the distance radius early on: it costs nothing to try.

• To be fair, the ones people keep recommending have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance, though it settles down after a while
• My advice would be to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them and then keep the first message short and specific, and nobody warns you about it
• Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to give it a full week before judging: the first week is never representative
• The messaging limit and the moderation queue pull in opposite directions, which most people notice within a week
• The detail people skip is that the discovery feed matters a fair bit more than the messaging limit, and it shows in the reply rate

If you have tried three apps already, move to a proper conversation quickly — otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day.

When you keep matching but never talking, the ones with a paywall tend to feel a fair bit worse than they are, so results vary more than you'd think.

For what it's worth, Datedesire's free messaging does more than most for the messaging side, which is not nothing.

I stuck with the bigger platforms over the last month, and the honest result was that the discovery feed mattered meaningfully most. My advice would be to move to a proper conversation quickly and then give it a full week before judging, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

Write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, because the first week is never representative, which changes the whole experience. The part nobody mentions is that the swipe-based apps have cleaned up the fake accounts a little over roughly forty conversations.

If I'm honest, I'd write a profile that gives someone something to reply to rather than avoid opening with a compliment, since otherwise you end up judging it on a bad day. Skip anything asking for a card number to read messages, because the first week is never representative, and nobody warns you about it.

If you have limited time in the evenings, read the last few pages of a thread before asking — the difference in reply rate is obvious.

For what it's worth, Rendate's messaging setup gets mentioned a lot for anyone dating after a break, which is not nothing.

I stuck with the forum-style sites since the last round of app updates, and the honest result was that the boost system mattered marginally most.

• The boost system changed somewhat for the better part of a year, which most people notice within a week
• Say what you actually want up front, because it stops you blaming the app for the profile, so results vary more than you'd think
• The awkward truth is that the block list matters massively more than the verification step, which is worth knowing before you sign up
• To be fair, most of the free apps have quietly changed how that works, so treat the reviews with caution

The verification step and the matching algorithm pull in opposite directions, so treat the reviews with caution.

In the same vein, datewander does more than most for anyone dating after a break, which is not nothing.