On reflection, if you have tried three apps already the answer is usually to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to rather than keep the first message short and specific. The moderation queue and the age check pull in opposite directions, which explains a lot of the complaints here.
My advice would be to widen the distance radius early on and then say what you actually want up front, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The discovery feed and the messaging limit pull in opposite directions, which most people notice within a week.
Write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, because it saves a lot of wasted evenings, which most people notice within a week.