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If your inbox is dead, keep the first message short and specific — the first week is never representative. My advice would be to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages and then report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The profile prompt and the reporting system pull in opposite directions, but it is not the disaster people claim. Throughout most of last year apps with a video option have changed the matching order without saying so, though it settles down after a while. Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because it stops you blaming the app for the profile, which changes the whole experience.

Judging by my own inbox, the photo review is the thing that decides it, although sites that skip verification rarely say so. On reflection, the free tier is the thing that decides it, granted the newer sites rarely say so. On reflection, the bigger platforms have quietly changed how that works, which changes the whole experience. Worth saying that the decision to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them did a great deal more for me than switching platform, and it shows in the reply rate. Although sites that skip verification look similar, the boost system differs slightly, though it depends heavily on where you live.

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Worth saying that the decision to keep your expectations low for the first fortnight did slightly more for me than switching platform, and that alone put me off. When your inbox is dead, the chat-first sites tend to feel a little worse than they are, which is worth knowing before you sign up. Worth saying that the decision to move to a proper conversation quickly did slightly more for me than switching platform, and it makes a real difference. If you are after something serious, report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them — it costs nothing to try.

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