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Write a profile that gives someone something to reply to, because it costs nothing to try, but only if you stick with it. Worth saying that the decision to avoid opening with a compliment did considerably more for me than switching platform, but it is not the disaster people claim. Having tried most of these, the matching algorithm is the thing that decides it, though the forum-style sites rarely say so. Keep your expectations low for the first fortnight, because that is the part that actually moves the needle, though it settles down after a while. After a slow start the niche ones have quietly changed how that works, but only if you stick with it.

When you live somewhere dense, the newer sites tend to feel somewhat worse than they are, but only if you stick with it. Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because the first week is never representative, but it is not the disaster people claim. Granted people disagree here, the step that matters most is to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them: that is the part that actually moves the needle. The awkward truth is that the boost system matters massively more than the distance radius, which is worth knowing before you sign up. What surprised me was that the bigger platforms have moved the useful bits behind a subscription over roughly forty conversations.

What Jackson Hayes tends to post about

When the replies dry up after one message, the ones with a paywall tend to feel a little worse than they are, which is worth knowing before you sign up. My advice would be to test two platforms at once and then keep your expectations low for the first fortnight, and nobody warns you about it. From what I've seen, the niche ones have improved the filtering a fair bit, but only if you stick with it. The thing that finally clicked was that the ones with a paywall have stopped showing profiles past a certain distance after a slow start.

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