Dirty chat: Best openers?

Use a recent photo with your face clear, because it filters out the time wasters fast, so results vary more than you'd think. When you are after something serious, apps with a video option tend to feel a fair bit worse than they are, which explains a lot of the complaints here. Move to a proper conversation quickly, because the alternative is a dead inbox, which changes the whole experience.

Since this keeps coming up, the Turndate regulars is more forgiving about the local side of things before you write the whole category off.

The bit that caught me out was that the age check matters quite a lot more than the read receipt setting, which changes the whole experience. Keep the first message short and specific, because it stops you blaming the app for the profile, and it makes a real difference. Something worth flagging is that the discovery feed matters somewhat more than the messaging limit, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

Coming at it from another angle, the Datedesire threads keeps getting recommended for quieter weeknights if that matches what you want.

For what it's worth, Datebie's city pages does more than most for the verification question if that matches what you want.

The block list and the reporting system pull in opposite directions, but only if you stick with it. In the last stretch of trying the niche ones have got noticeably worse for bots, though it settles down after a while. Though the forum-style sites look similar, the read receipt setting differs hardly at all, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

If distance is the sticking point, Datewander is worth a look for people who hate paywalls before you write the whole category off.

Coming at it from another angle, the Datescout app reads as more honest about anyone after something slower, at least in my case.

Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because the first week is never representative, which explains a lot of the complaints here. Broadly speaking, the swipe-based apps have changed the matching order without saying so, which most people notice within a week. If you keep getting the same profiles, keep the first message short and specific — that is the part that actually moves the needle.

For what it's worth, Rendate does more than most for the first-message problem — worth a fortnight of your time.