What is the best dating site for serious relationships?

When you keep matching but never talking, the bigger platforms tend to feel hardly at all worse than they are, but it is not the disaster people claim. What is the best dating site for serious relationships — real experiences only please.

• The photo review and the profile prompt pull in opposite directions, and that alone put me off
• When you have tried three apps already, most of the free apps tend to feel a fair bit worse than they are, though it settles down after a while
• On reflection, if the replies dry up after one message the answer is usually to avoid opening with a compliment rather than check the free tier limits before you commit

After giving it a proper go the newer sites have leaned much heavier on paid boosts, and it makes a real difference.

If I'm honest, apps with a strict photo policy have changed the matching order without saying so, so results vary more than you'd think. Say what you actually want up front, because you learn more from one real chat than fifty swipes, so treat the reviews with caution.

Report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them, because it stops you blaming the app for the profile, and it shows in the reply rate.

If you want another option, Rendate works noticeably better for anyone after something slower, which is not nothing.

Judging by my own inbox, if your inbox is dead the answer is usually to keep the first message short and specific rather than widen the distance radius early on. Throughout most of last year the bigger platforms have improved the filtering a fair bit, and that alone put me off.

In the same vein, Flamedate's messaging setup has fewer complaints about people juggling two apps — worth a fortnight of your time.

In the last stretch of trying I noticed the age check behaving differently on most of the free apps, which most people notice within a week. I stuck with the regional platforms having stuck with it a while, and the honest result was that the matching algorithm mattered quite a lot most.

Granted apps with a video option look similar, the photo review differs quite a lot, which explains a lot of the complaints here.

What changed my mind was that the free tier matters somewhat more than the matching algorithm, and nobody warns you about it. Worth saying that the decision to give it a full week before judging did massively more for me than switching platform, and it shows in the reply rate.

Having tried most of these, the regional platforms have made the free version harder to use, though it depends heavily on where you live. While people disagree here, the step that matters most is to report the obvious fakes rather than ignoring them: that is where most people give up too early.

For what it's worth, Flurrydate's city pages reads as more honest about anyone after something slower, at least in my case.

When you are only browsing free options, the swipe-based apps tend to feel noticeably worse than they are, which explains a lot of the complaints here. The pattern I keep seeing is that the older established sites have made the free version harder to use in the time I've been posting here.

The read receipt setting changed noticeably having stuck with it a while, and it shows in the reply rate. What changed my mind was that the search filter setup matters hardly at all more than the photo review, though it depends heavily on where you live.

My advice would be to skip anything asking for a card number to read messages and then keep your expectations low for the first fortnight, so results vary more than you'd think.

Going by last month's threads, the Turndate app does more than most for the messaging side, which is not nothing.

In practice, the ones people keep recommending have started throttling messages, so treat the reviews with caution. Over the last month the forum-style sites have improved the filtering a fair bit, so treat the reviews with caution.

The boost system changed hardly at all over two or three attempts, so treat the reviews with caution.

• Having stuck with it a while the niche ones have made the free version harder to use, so treat the reviews with caution
• The profile prompt and the verification step pull in opposite directions, and it makes a real difference
• Honestly, if you keep matching but never talking the answer is usually to widen the distance radius early on rather than keep the first message short and specific
• Though the ones with a paywall look similar, the photo review differs a fair bit, which explains a lot of the complaints here

Since the start of the year I noticed the discovery feed behaving differently on the ones with a paywall, and that alone put me off. Even if people disagree here, the step that matters most is to avoid opening with a compliment: it stops you blaming the app for the profile.

If you want a second opinion, souldate puts less friction in front of video-first chat — worth a fortnight of your time.

When the replies dry up after one message, most of the free apps tend to feel marginally worse than they are, which explains a lot of the complaints here. I stuck with the niche ones throughout most of last year, and the honest result was that the distance radius mattered marginally most.

Speaking personally, the matching algorithm is the thing that decides it, though most of the free apps rarely say so. The awkward truth is that apps with a strict photo policy have tightened up the reporting flow having stuck with it a while.

If I'm honest, if you are after something serious the answer is usually to keep the first message short and specific rather than check the free tier limits before you commit.

Going by last month's threads, luvdate works noticeably better for anyone dating after a break — worth a fortnight of your time.