What changed my mind was that the daily match cap matters quite a lot more than the distance radius, which is worth knowing before you sign up. The verification step and the daily match cap pull in opposite directions, and it makes a real difference.
Broadly speaking, the read receipt setting is the thing that decides it, though the swipe-based apps rarely say so.
- Broadly speaking, the search filter setup is the thing that decides it, even if the bigger platforms rarely say so
- Judging by my own inbox, the age check is the thing that decides it, while the older established sites rarely say so
- Despite the fact that people disagree here, the step that matters most is to write a profile that gives someone something to reply to: it saves a lot of wasted evenings
- Realistically, the reporting system is the thing that decides it, despite the fact that the newer sites rarely say so
- What actually mattered was that the older established sites have added checks that actually help these past few weeks
For what it's worth, the bigger platforms have made the first message cost something, which changes the whole experience.
Realistically, I'd say what you actually want up front rather than keep the first message short and specific, since it saves a lot of wasted evenings.